As women, we are pretty much all guilty of looking in the mirror at one point or another and thinking, if not saying, "I am so fat."
As I was growing up, discussions about weight were as common as most any other topic. Especially when my mother and aunts would all get together. I can see the desire to talk about such a subject. It is something everyone deals with and everyone gets to share their latest brilliant tips and tricks. But unfortunately, it seems all anyone ever really did was talk about it. And talk about it. And talk about it.
Now, as I'm older, when the women in my family get together, I see the same conversation happening again. I am proud that after a certain extent, my mom is usually the one that will change the topic. Just one of the many things I love about her.
It's just such an easy topic to get stuck on. But as I now have nieces and younger cousins that are entering pre-teen and high school age, I worry about passing all of this on to the next generation.
I have struggled with body issues since I was the first to develop in my class at a very young age. I was also always much taller and just didn't have the same petite body that most of my friends had. By the time I was a freshman in high school, I was dealing with anorexia, depression, and anxiety. When I look back now at photos of those years, instead of seeing that fit high school athlete, I just see a very sick girl. By the time I was a senior in high school, I had taken my food control issues to the opposite extreme and was binging. I also struggled a lot with alcohol, which of course just sped along my weight gain.
Going from one extreme to the other has wreaked havoc on my body over the last ten years. Keeping a happy medium is something I struggle with each and every day.
I'll admit that I do still talk about weight, probably more than I should. Probably because it is indeed something that I have to work hard on constantly. And I will talk about it on here, but that is because I am extremely proud of the hard work I am putting into being healthy, not skinny.
But there is one thing I have been trying to do, and that is to definitely pay attention to who is around when I give myself those looks in the mirror or discuss my weight. It would break my heart to know that one of my nieces, and someday my daughter, felt that she wasn't good enough because the women in her life feel like they aren't good enough.
Those little girls I love, deserve to see women that love themselves.
The inspiration behind this: http://www.rolereboot.org/life/details/2013-06-when-your-mother-says-shes-fat
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